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Performance

August 4, 2014

Laura’s Blog Entry

I am in recovery. Recovery from getting my worth from what I accomplish. Can I get an amen? Who’s with me?

Why does it feel so darn good to check those to-dos off the list? To-dos this past week like:

Finish custom quilt. Check.
Scrape out the rubbery shelf liner in the glassware cabinet. Check.
Hang Command hooks in my closet for necklaces. Check.
Reorganize bathroom linen closet, complete with four new storage containers. Check.
De-gunk the showerhead. Check.
Repot the kitchen window aloe vera plant. Check.
Shop at Lowe’s for three other DIY projects. Check.
Help prep and recoat the metal roof. Check.

Yes, last week was a very productive week. But the best thing about it wasn’t getting it done – all of which was above and beyond daily house chores, food prep, etc. The best thing was spending an average of one to two hours a day in meditation and spiritual study. You guys, this stuff matters. I am not kidding. When I just go around doing stuff and trying to feel good, my life is actually a mess. Because I am pretending I have it together. Because for a day, or an hour, or for five minutes it appears I do.

Problem is on days when nothing gets done, where I am? I’m a bigger mess, that’s where. Feeling useless and worthless.

You know what? We all have worth, just being who we are. I am trying to live from that place. Yeah. Not easy. Especially on this planet where the culture is all about improving yourself 24/7.

I am cleaning up my spiritual house. And boy is it a mess. Did I mention… MESS?

I’m not saying you need to do the same. Maybe you need to reevaluate your definition of success like the DIY Diva. (Whose post I found in the middle of writing this one. Ah timing.)

All I am saying is that if you struggle with performance = worth like I do, perhaps you need a little moment of evaluation. Mine is a spiritual issue. Discover your own truth as needed.

That is all. Thanks for listening. I know I can always count on you! 🙂

I can also always count on this guy. Thanks, Neil.

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