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Not Just Another Blog of Resolutions

January 15, 2009

Laura’s Blog Entry

I’ve read a lot of blog lately about The Best of 2008! Or Where I’m Going in 2009! Or Resolutions I’ve Made for 2009 That I Can Once Again Crap Out on in a Month or Two!

I have no desire to rehash 2008 right now. And the thought of 2009 scares the pants off me at the moment. In considering this new year and the last one I just keep coming up with questions. And a few answers. Basically, for me it’s really about WHAT I DO KNOW and WHAT I DON’T KNOW.

WHAT I DON’T KNOW IS… Why, during the year that I was in the best physical shape of the past 10-plus years, and ate the most healthful diet I’ve ever eaten, including a fair amount of locally grown, organic produce and less meat, did I experience more illness that I have during those 10-plus years?

WHAT I DO KNOW… I have managed to gain the healthiest body self-image I have ever experienced. I feel OK in my own skin. And that is nothing short of a miracle.

WHAT I DON’T KNOW IS… Why do I still not know how to comfort my child when she has an all-out breakdown over her math homework that lasts 45 minutes and involves screaming, stomping, and the shredding of said math homework? Why does nothing I say or do help in that moment?

WHAT I DO KNOW… ADHD is a bitch. Opps, this is supposed to be the positive part. Sorry… WHAT I DO KNOW IS… I was chosen to be the parent of this child for a reason. I have some skill or quality or something to provide to her that no one else can. Everyday we get a little closer to knowing what that might be. And, due to divine grace, I have not completely and entirely screwed her up beyond repair as of yet. And thanks to some blog readers, I have a resource that is willing to share her experience and advice with me. Thanks all you Mode chicks!

WHAT I DON’T KNOW IS… If anyone is going to like/purchase/notice Never in a Million Years.  This was a crazy-scary-incredible-life-changing-learning-process that I wouldn’t trade for the world. (But perhaps would trade it for Depeche Mode backstage passes. Let’s face it; most of my standards are in danger when it comes to a trade-off of that caliber. But that’s for another psychobabble post.)

WHAT I DO KNOW… There are only a handful of things in my life I am deeply and sincerely proud of, and this is one of them.

So I guess, despite this bout of some evil virus that is not giving up residency in my lungs, and a child who is very, very unhappy that Christmas break is over, and a heating bill that is through the roof, I am tentatively going forward with 2009. I know it’s already the 14th, but I had not committed to the whole thing yet.

I mean, there’s the new Depeche Mode album, Sounds of the Universe, coming out in April. Who in their right mind would miss that?

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